The High Cost of Status and How To Address It

I once worked on a small advisory team with a colleague who commuted approximately 20 miles to work in a Hummer. This was back in 2007 and 2008, when gas prices were creeping into the $4.00 per gallon range here in Phoenix. He and I were both working in a call center; we weren't meeting with our clients in person. However, I regularly overheard my colleague on his client calls discuss both his car and his large property, located in a beautiful rural area just outside of Phoenix.

More details emerged later:  The Hummer was leased and the house outside of town was rented. I eventually heard my co-worker mention to another colleague that he'd given up the house with the large property in favor of accommodations closer in - likely to compensate for the high cost of gas for his Hummer.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we willing to spend so much money on looking good to others? I'm not immune - for years, my husband and I lived in a very modest house while I dreamed of owning a larger and more impressive home where I could "entertain."

Here are some thoughts about how to win the battle with a part of ourselves that can be very difficult to overcome:

Embrace it.

We are status-seeking creatures. Status-seeking is likely hard-wired in us, and can't be ignored, which helps to explain our endless rounds of dieting, and the $16 billion we spent in 2016 on products and surgeries designed to help us look better. Knowing this can be empowering - we can step back and think more carefully about taking on an expensive purchase, surgery, or even lifestyle and ask if it really serves us when no one else is looking.

Channel it.

There are endless ways you can set yourself apart without having to go into debt to prove that you've somehow "made it." Perhaps you have musical talent, or you are a runner, or you have a great network of friends and acquaintances. If you have a talent or skill, you can channel your hard-wired status-seeking energies into using it to set yourself apart, instead of chasing expensive symbols of success.

Be the beneficiary instead of the victim.

Let someone else pay the high cost of new. If we wait and buy quality used, we'll get great value for a much lower cost, and become the beneficiary of someone else's status-seeking activity.

As an example, I recently needed some sports shoes. My sister currently works for REI, and she was willing to use her employee discount to purchase some shoes for me if I would let her know what I wanted. I tried on four different pairs of shoes, all of them costing $130 retail; $90 after my sister's discount was applied.

Before I could bring myself to spend even $90 on a new pair of shoes, I needed to at least see what was on offer at my favorite consignment store, which only sells shoes that have never been worn. There was one pair of sports shoes that fit, they met all of the other requirements I had for a sports shoe (which were pretty low), and so I made the purchase:

These Stella McCartney Addidas retail for $278.25

I purchased them "used" (but never worn) for $36.00

Of course, I don't know who originally purchased these shoes or what motivated her purchase, but I still feel like the beneficiary of someone else's status-seeking behavior. 

Don't get sucked into playing the status game with people who are more willing to spend their money on status symbols; everyone loses. Instead, find ways to channel that hard-wired energy into living your best life, because nothing gives you higher status than that!